When we don’t belong anywhere – overcoming loneliness and finding true belonging

I could have sworn I was the only person in the entire universe who didn’t fit in. After 12 different schools as a child, I was, however, an exceedingly good chameleon. I learned to skillfully ‘fit’ wherever I landed (i.e. mold myself, make myself useful). Fitting is survival. Belonging, however, is what we all yearn for in our deepest soul. As I grew older and exchanged notes with those vulnerable enough, to be honest, I found that ‘lack of belonging’ and loneliness has become a human epidemic.

It used to be simple. You were born into a tribe and you usually belonged. If you didn’t belong, you were thrown out for the lions. End of story. 

The deep primal need to belong is etched into our unconscious mind. We are communal beings, designed by nature for connection. Connection is an important key for mental health and health in general. Loneliness is a signal from the brain to tell us that something isn’t right.

The thought of not belonging is so terrifying that most of us have configured our lives in places where we don’t really fit. It’s challenging. And that is where loneliness begins. As long as we are busy fitting our ’round-pegged selves’ into a square hole, we can’t ever truly be ourselves; and we can’t really communicate the things that are important to us. Nobody likes risking being cast out of the tribe. We armour ourselves. We hide our true feelings. We compartmentalise, cutting off from our heart to avoid being hurt. We stay silent for fear of being persecuted or shamed. We disconnect from the connection that our soul yearns for – frequently masked with addictions, compulsive screen time, alcohol, drugs, over-eating, distractions, toxic spirituality – anything, anything, anything which fills the vast empty void of loneliness. 

“Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”
Carl Jung

The loneliest I’ve ever been

In 2017, I crawled up into a ball and wanted to die. I am not ashamed of admitting this because it was real and a lots of people want to die at some time or another. My world had crashed. When I finally put out a desperate call for help it shocked the most of the members of the spiritual community that I was in who heard; who rather than handling it with love, mostly turned the other way in a mixture of spiritual elitism, confusion, panic, and cognitive dissonance. Understandable really, because my cry for help was being counteracted and bleached out  (it doesn’t always bode too well with a community when one of the founders becomes unhinged, so it’s easier to air-brush it out than to have the conversation that really needs to be had). You see, for years, I’d been known for balance, stability, inspiration and shining brightly – but there is nothing like a breakdown to burst a few bubbles and sort the wheat from the chaff. I am glad it happened to be honest. It shattered an illusion and changed my life in infinitely better ways. I’d become so lonely and isolated within my marriage and had nowhere to turn, as my husband was also the spiritual leader of the community I was in and had command over the narrative. A tough lesson to learn. I was like a frog in hot water, that had heated up so gradually – now it was boiling! So I turned inwards and cracked wide-open. Eventually, we all pop in some way shape or form.  All I’d know was how to hold everything together and put on a brave face.

That was a turning point. Everything changed. My world fell apart. My faith in humanity was slowly restored. Amazing ordinary extraordinary human beings who were open enough to feel the commonality of struggle that we all face at some time or another, as human beings. ‘I see you’. To feel like I was a valid human being again – that was what I needed. For the first time in a long time, I was able to be myself. I will always see those people who reminded me who I was back then as angels – and human angels always show up somehow when we need them.

I’ve since learned that we all need validity in some way. We all want to belong, to know that we are enough, exactly as we are.  It’s normal and it’s human. It’s simple!  And not only is it OK, but it’s essential, as I learned.

A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.
Brene Brown

The internet – validation on steroids

With the prevalation of the internet, many of us have become increasingly disconnected from real-life connections. Social media is like validity on steroids! Carefully controlled to make you come back again and again and again for more approval, for more connection. A dangling carrot, with the promise of connection – often evading us, just enough to keep us hooked and hopeful for more.  The internet can be an amazing tool, but most of it lacks soul. Studies show that social media is responsible for more loneliness and suicides than we can imagine. It’s been engineered in the same way that slot machines in Las Vegas have (no kidding – it has been covertly engineered by the science of addiction).

The internet has its place. I’ve learned so much from Google University, but I am also so tired of finding out how to do everything last thing online. I want my mam to show me how to sew a zip on the purse I just made, I want my neighbour to show me how to change the oil on my car, I want the 83-year-old guy I pass in the woods every day to tell me how to grow a garden. Because that is where I get the connection and realness that my soul needs. 

“I see you” – the art of authentic connection

I often work alone, so I naturally seek out situations where I have meaningful engagement with others. I recently moved to a new town. Nobody knew me when I showed up, yet I have felt more connection and community in a couple of short months than I did for over a decade living in my old town. Something shifted inside of me when I made authentic connection a priority. 

I was volunteering the other day on my local nature reserve. Not only can I learn traditional skills there, but I am learning fascinating things; like how to track wildlife (did you know how a mallard duck quacks differently when there is a threatening otter in the vicinity?). I adore the realness.

Doing voluntary work has a multitude of layers for me. I feel inspired by my local nature reserve with its sparkling streams, rugged gorges, lush wetlands, and lord-of-the-rings-like woodlands. I dearly want to protect this precious habitation. Volunteering has the incredible side-effect of connecting me with people who also care about nature (and who seem infinitely more knowledgable than me). I feel like a child, hungry to listen, learn and be a part of something I believe in. I feel accepted. I feel seen. I feel valid. 

On a daily basis, I can’t help but smile to everyone I pass. In return, people beam with delight. It is not uncommon that I will strike up conversation with strangers. ‘I see you’. Each person, each conversation feels like a spark of the divine… everyone has a story, everyone yearns to be seen, everyone wants to see the light of their soul reflected back to them with a kind smile. 

An experiment in observing my loneliness…

I tried an experiment… Instead of feeling mindless despair, every time I felt lonely, I decided to simply watch and notice it. It was so freakin’ hard to start with. I desperately wanted to fill the void. But instead I, simply noticed. At first, I observed the deep primal pain of not belonging, of abandonment, rejection, of being invalidated, of not being enough. It was excruciating. But I looked on with curiosity and kept noticing. Allowing the pain, the intense primal feelings, without judgment, enabled them to surface – it allowed deep healing to happen.

I started going into the woods, going into nature and just being. I lost my home last year (it had belonged to my father-in-law and was sold after divorce), got rid of most of my stuff, put the rest into storage. I planned on camping in the wilderness and melting back into the earth. I secretly wanted nature to enfold me back into her heart and for my heart to beat with the rhythm of nature forever. I lived on a shoe-string budget for a few months in the wilds of one the Canary Islands and spent most of my time in nature re-claiming myself. I kept observing loneliness, careful to watch and allow, but not to fill the empty void. The more time I spent in nature, accepting ‘what is’, the more whole and complete I became. That time was incredibly reclusive, but divine. It showed me a deeper level of who I truly am and helped me realise that I need a healthy balance of solitude and connection. 

(Anastasia camping the wilderness alone,  Jan 2019)

Solitude is not the same as loneliness

I love being alone, but I really do not like being lonely. A paradox right? Well, they are two different things.

The paradox is that we are never truly alone when our heart is truly open. With openness, love, and self-honesty, we become connected to the light that flows through all things. I can be alone, either still, with my self, or alone in nature. I feel at peace, fulfilled and free. On the other hand, I can also feel lonely AF. These are moments when I have become disconnected from the light that flows through all things.

The answer to me became simple – when I feel lonely it is simply my souls’ way of reminding me to reconnect with the light that flows through all things (or the divine as I might call it).

How do I reconnect? It starts with a simple commitment to reconnect. For me, sometimes that means closing my eyes and feeling the light in my heart. Suddenly I am no longer alone because I am ‘connected’ to the divine.

When it is too difficult to reconnect with the light in my heart, I will return to nature. After a little while connecting with the trees, the meadow and the wilds of foliage and bird song, I re-set my self back to real-ness. If I am particularly challenged then it might take a few hours emersed in nature to feel my light again. For other people, it might be art, painting, dancing or singing. It’s whatever opens up our soul to the flow. When we touch that space we don’t feel lonely, because we feel connected EVEN if there are no other people around. 

We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter suffering. But then our solitude is overcome, we are no longer alone, for we find that our innermost self is the spirit, that it is God, the indivisible. And suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of the world, yet undisturbed by its multiplicity, for our innermost soul we know ourselves to be one with all being.
Hermann Hesse

Connection with people – that is important, crucial in fact – yet true connection runs much deeper. First, it’s about the light in our heart and soul, it’s about what makes your heart sing, it’s about what stirs your soul. Then when we connect with people, we feel a proper connection.

True belonging is about finding a healthy balance between solitude, time in nature, touching our soul and connection with fellow human beings. 

The courage to be ourselves

It takes a lot of courage to be ourselves! Sometimes it’s like standing out in the cold windy rain, exposed and vulnerable. It’s like venturing into the deep dark forest, never knowing if you will reach the crystal clear waterfall in the heart of the trees. Being ourselves is the boldest thing we will ever do. People who dare to be themselves with profound self-honesty are also those who find that they belong. People who dare to be themselves are those who overcome loneliness with a deeper sense of connection and authenticity with those they meet – quality not quantity – realness not superficiality.

The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.
Brene Brown

The courage to be ourselves may leave us out in the thrashing rain for a while and test us to the core, yet it leads to a deeper sense of connection and fulfillment than we can imagine. It’s the reason that now, I am able to return to an empty home, with nobody to greet me, with joy and appreciation, with the richness of human spirit and the delight of solitude. It’s because I am willing to feel into the deep dark well of my loneliness until I find the light beyond it all. It’s because I am willing to show up and be real, no matter what.

It means when I show up for others I can be myself. It means that I can mix with people, from any walk of life, because I am not looking for similarities, I am looking to celebrate the diversity of human connection. We all have a human spirit and we are all in this together. 

When we find courage within ourselves, to be real, it sends a signal out, so that the people around us also unleash their own courage. I used to think it was rare; interestingly, now I see it everywhere!

At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self.
Brendan Behan

Ways to overcome loneliness and find soul

Appreciate the people around you:
We may have differences. Drop judgments because everyone has had a tough journey. Be willing to see the divine in everyone. If others don’t ‘meet you’ in that place of non-judgment and open-heartedness, then give it some time, show up anyway, because sometimes things shift. First, we must learn to appreciate what is right in front of us (note: obviously if what is in front of us is dangerous, then leave or get help).

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.”

Recognise that there is light in all people: 
I’ve tested this to the moon and back, through abuse, through forgiveness, with really ‘nasty buggers’. To truly belong in this world, non-judgment is important and acknowledgment that we are all inextricably connected is a fundamental part of the human journey. This is not to say we should abandon discernment. Most of us have had a tough ride with toxic characters in our lives at some point or another, but there is always something deeper. We are in this together. When one of us rises, we all begin to rise.

Spend time alone without distractions: 
Take time to watch and notice what comes up for you. Observing loneliness is a powerful precursor to overcoming it and becoming comfortable in your own skin. It is probably not going to be easy, but the rewards are exponential. Notice the emptiness and realise that emptiness is an important part of creating space to ‘be’ you. 

Spend time in the woodlands with trees and plantlife: 
Feel the healing energy of trees and plants. There is a whole community of living sentient life. Plantlife offers a space where you can be completely yourself. The trees will not judge you or expect you to be any other way. The woodland or forest is a powerful place to reclaim yourself. There is a whole science behind why (but I will save that for another story). Nature is an excellent place to find peace and calm, to feel excepted and seen. Hug a tree and just watch, notice what happens to your energy field. 

Seek out social situations without expectation: 
You never know who you will cross paths with. It takes time to build deep meaningful connections, but we have to start somewhere. Volunteering for a cause you believe in or joining a group that interests you are often places where we can meet interesting people. People love working together for a common cause. Be brave, be bold, be honest with yourself. There may (or may not) be people with whom you resonate, but just allow yourself to be and keep exploring. I can guarantee you if you talk with people, there are always people who have fascinating stories to share and there is always something to learn that you didn’t know. Some of my deepest most meaningful conversations are with people who are completely opposite to me in many ways – yet there is always a spark of the divine between us. If you don’t feel comfortable, give it some time and don’t be afraid to keep looking elsewhere.

Thank you for reading. I hope that you’ve found a little spark of something in this. Feel free to re-share. Feel free to comment and share your own experience or enquire deeper.

Soul to Soul 



  1. Cynthia August 22, 2019 at 11:57 am - Reply

    Thank you Anastasia.

    This touches me in ways I can’t describe. You manage to find and express the universality in your situations, thus allowing me to feel the depths of my own connection.

    Heart warming, heart opening, heart expanding…

    Thank you

    • Anastasia August 22, 2019 at 1:34 pm - Reply

      Beyond measure – thank you!

    • Zsuzsanna Horvath August 22, 2019 at 4:11 pm - Reply

      Thank you for sharing your journey with us, can feel that you have been deeply hurt with all the in-depth knowledge you gained through this, can see that was a high price to pay, but made you even a more special person. Let me share something with you now. A few years ago when I was going through a break down, I used to watch your videos over and over again, found it was very calming and healing, I think that Devine spark was coming through you then . Thank you Anastasia,

      • Anastasia August 23, 2019 at 8:13 am - Reply

        Wow Zsuzanna – how divine and precious. I have had a feeling for the longest time that it is important to share, because it might just make a difference to someone else, somewhere, somehow that I might not ever even know about.

        • Teresa November 23, 2019 at 4:49 am - Reply

          I can’t say enough to thank you for all you took the time to share that has helped me during a season when nothing has helped me get out of the place in my inner self of just not knowing how I am going to move on when I am experiencing all that you shared. I never have ever had the thought in my head that I need to first belong to myself. Thanks again life changing information

          • Anastasia November 23, 2019 at 8:06 am - Reply

            To hear that Teresa, makes sharing all worthwhile.
            I highly recommend the book ‘Braving the Wilderness’ by Brene Brown, if you are feeling that it is time to make changes and move on.
            Kindest blessings

  2. Karen from Cape Town August 22, 2019 at 1:27 pm - Reply

    Dearest Anastasia, There was no chance of you leaving us, because we who have followed you for a while, knew and loved the real you right from the start. The fact that you also embraced a name-change during this testing period, says it all for me. We know your infinite value, and hope you also know it now. Love and immense thanks always.

    • Anastasia August 22, 2019 at 1:34 pm - Reply

      That means so much Karen. It was also my saving grace that I had already set my conscious kitchen work in motion, before it all kicked off. Deep gratitude and love.

    • Alex August 22, 2019 at 3:17 pm - Reply

      Beautifully put. I have been intensely lonely in many ways since a spiritual awakening, ironically. Simply as I see the world in a much deeper depth to other people, feel a lot more, and have all kinds of knowledge and experiences which can’t be talked about in general company. This world is in many ways blander and bleaker than other places I’ve walked in and have tuned into. But while we’re human, we have an effect and a job with other humans, even if it’s only low-key contact. Even if I can’t talk about what’s important to me I can see the essence of people and can meet them on their wavelength. As for nature – it’s a wonderfully wonderful healer and companion. It makes you realise humans and all our concepts and ideas are just a small and relatively insignificant species in the great scheme of things. Much love to you on your path. Alex

      • Anastasia August 23, 2019 at 8:23 am - Reply

        Hi Alex, thank you for sharing. I understand it can be lonely on the spiritual path at times. For me it came full circle and embracing my humanity and human-beingness has been an important key. I find so much richness and delightful curiosity by connecting with people from all walks of life. with love to you too.

  3. Pamela Free August 22, 2019 at 1:48 pm - Reply

    Anastasia, thank you so much!

    It is a huge blessing for me to read this today.
    I have turned my back on most connections in this crazy world for a long time now.

    I am finally open to a new kind of connection and I hear your words with huge gratitude.

    I will read this again and again when the way forward feels more difficult than I can handle.
    Huge hugs,

    • Anastasia August 23, 2019 at 8:27 am - Reply

      I feel you Pam, and am so happy we can join hands and know that we are all connected to inspire each other. It can indeed be a crazy world. I’ve found that always digging deeper to find aspects of myself that I’ve not yet touched keeps me moving forward.
      Huge hugs to you and thanks so much for your beautiful comment.

  4. Gaelle Bryant August 22, 2019 at 2:10 pm - Reply

    Thank you for sharing. The universe has just made my path come across your blog and I thank him. I have had a difficult few months where I have felt very lonely despite having a house full of 3 beautiful (yet challenging) children. Your words are so beautiful and resonate with how I am feeling. Slowly I am going back to nature working the soil and growing my own vegetables and it is helping me. I will come back to this blog to help me overcome my loneliness. Thank you

    • Anastasia August 23, 2019 at 8:29 am - Reply

      Thanks for sharing Gaelle. I am glad to know that what I’ve shared has made its way over to you.
      Growing veggies is so precious. I recently moved into a rented house and am so so looking fwd to growing veggies again. with love x

  5. Sandi August 22, 2019 at 3:14 pm - Reply

    This has touched me deeply. Thank you so much for your honesty and bravery. Your courage is inspiring and the raw pain you felt is heartbreaking, but, it has encouraged me greatly.
    Thank you. Bless you.

  6. Claire August 22, 2019 at 3:28 pm - Reply

    Dear Anastasia. Thank you dearly for sharing this. I could feel an abundance of energy wash through me when readying your words. It felt divine and so very beautiful. I always knew years ago when on retreats how you were so special to us all there, and probably the reason I was there. I feel honoured to have met you and want to thank you for your divine inspiration and love.
    Wishing love and blessings are returned to you ten fold and more.
    Thank you so much

    • Anastasia August 23, 2019 at 8:36 am - Reply

      Oh wow, that is so touching to hear Claire – really touching!
      That means so much – love and gratitude.

  7. Hannelore Schroeder August 22, 2019 at 4:07 pm - Reply

    Dear Anastasia,
    Such profound insight. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities. Such honesty touches my soul with yours.
    Love you,

    • Anastasia August 23, 2019 at 8:37 am - Reply

      That’s so so beautiful to know Hannelore.
      Biggest heart full of love to you!

  8. Catherine August 22, 2019 at 4:35 pm - Reply

    Hi Ana: Thank you for sharing your experiences and revelations of the heart that came out of your brokenness and breakdown so a higher way of being could spring forth like the beautiful flower that bursts through rocky terrain. It is indeed about connecting to the Divine light and love within where all resides. Deeply moving and inspiring. I salute your honesty and courage. Much love🌸💗🌸

    • Anastasia August 23, 2019 at 8:39 am - Reply

      Thank you so much for feeling into this Catherine and sharing… I really appreciate that.
      with love xx

  9. Valerie August 22, 2019 at 9:16 pm - Reply

    I was telling someone tonight about a deep hurt I recently experienced from a very long term friend. This hurt has triggered similar behavioural hurts from a close relative. It’s very painful but I’m sitting with it. Then your blog appeared and the quote by Jung both spoke to me. I have studied Carl Jung. I found your old cooking website through someone who had done an Open hand course. That didn’t resonate with me but you and your wonderful cooking did. I sense that you are really being there and thank you for sharing your authenticity.

    • Anastasia August 23, 2019 at 8:52 am - Reply

      The journey can be tough – big hugs. As long as we keep sitting with it and finding self-love (and there were times, especially at first, when I could NOT sit with it and I just had to let that run its course). I’d love to read more from Carl Jung, what I’ve gleaned already always has inspired me.
      Thank you for sharing and being here.

  10. Lynn August 23, 2019 at 12:41 pm - Reply

    What a beautiful article. I’ve sent it on to a couple of close friends. Going through a tough time at present and it arrived at the right time. Thank you.

    • Anastasia August 25, 2019 at 10:00 am - Reply

      Thank you for sharing… if it can help others then all is worthwhile.

  11. Pam Segal August 24, 2019 at 6:45 am - Reply

    Your article really touched my heart – thank you for being brave and authentic enough to put it out there. I have been exploring aloneness and loneliness and I know what a painful experience it is. I too need to be alone quite a lot of the time, like I need air to breathe and food and water to sustain me, but sometimes loneliness pierces my heart and I cry out that I am a soul having a human experience and sometimes humans just need a cuddle! It is still work in progress and sometimes it is hard to find the light to fill the emptiness, but sometimes I get an unexpected ‘etheric cuddle’ from a warm loving presence whose love and compassion makes me cry with joy and gratitude.
    I find it so helpful that someone I see as being further along their spiritual path than I am, still struggles with the same stuff I do and has the courage to say so. It makes me feel so much more connected on a soul level than I could feel with someone who apparently is ‘beyond all that’ and could so easily make me feel inadequate if I let them.
    Thank you for your courage and your authenticity – I see you!
    With love,

    • Anastasia August 25, 2019 at 11:09 am - Reply

      Thank you so much for showing up and sharing your own experience and feelings Pam.

      I think this is why it is so important for me to step forward with an article like this because I do not want anyone to feel ‘less than’ or inadequate because they think someone is further along the path. I took phenomenal courage to publish the article – I was literally shaking! But my soul said ‘this might help someone – and if it helps just one other person in this precious world, then it is worth it’.

      I believe that we all have gifts and we all have something to learn from each other. The people who helped me, the people literally saved my life, it was nothing to do with how far along the spiritual path they were. It was their depths of compassion and kindness that made a difference. It was their humanity. It was their ability to love unconditionally. It was non-judgment. It was their ability to reflect my light back to me in my darkest hour. That’s what made the world of difference. It didn’t matter where they were on the spiritual path or wether they’d had a profound spiritual awakening. Not at all. They simply showed up. They were real. That’s what matters.

      I know various people who appear or claim to be ‘further down the spiritual path’ who claim to be enlightened or a master – who in fact are actually abusive to their students or their partners – or exude covert curruption of various sorts. Often they are just really good at putting on an act or good spiritual sales-people. None of those people showed up for me when I was suicidal. Not one! It was the ordinary people who showed up. It taught me something deeply profound about the true nature of spirituality.

      I really appreciate your comment Pam. Especially as you have known me in my old and new world! I had no idea you were tuning in here! with love and gratitude Ana x

  12. Michael Dickson September 2, 2019 at 12:53 pm - Reply

    Ana, a dying star implodes with density and darkness before it changes direction and expands out into a Supernova, then a dust cloud nebula. From there it begins to create again; we all come from that. Your reach is infinite! Thanks for the reminders that we all share inside. Mike

    • Anastasia September 2, 2019 at 7:38 pm - Reply

      Wow! My heart just burst wide open again and again.

  13. Charles E Vigneau September 3, 2019 at 6:25 pm - Reply

    What an experience along the path! I was introduced to a community to deepin my awareness of who I am, something like that. I was carrying a lot of baggage that just kept growing. All my life or for as long as I can remember I felt different ,alone and suicidal. This community was what I needed to unpack and “go through all that baggage”. I knew you were under-going a change, I just did not since the depth.
    There was another Anastasia which I mistook you for.
    WOW, It took sometime to figure out that it was not you, the Anastasia I grew to know. I felt like a hole was now in my life, For that feeling of love was just not there in the depth I felt from you.
    I didn’t know how to reach out.
    Over time I did realise that the love you emit comes from all of us and you my friend are like a lighthouse in a storm. Helping to guild us to safety as you forge forward on your path.
    For me my path is only seen when my foot touches the ground or I look back from which I travelled. And sometimes I need to look back to see all that is, the light was there all the time even in the darkest hours.

    with much Love and more gratitude,


    • Anastasia September 6, 2019 at 9:33 am - Reply

      Thank you for you kind comment Charlie.

  14. Amy September 6, 2019 at 9:46 am - Reply

    Huge love Ana 🤗 beautiful article which resonates deeply 💕 your journey, authenticity and courage are an ongoing inspiration to me, you never gave up and shine brighter and more solidly than ever 🥰

    • Anastasia September 6, 2019 at 10:15 am - Reply

      Huge Love right back to you Amy!
      That melts me to read. We are all in this together and it feels like when one rises, we all rise.

      • Amy Harding September 6, 2019 at 12:52 pm - Reply

        Absolutely! 💃

  15. Linda September 7, 2019 at 3:18 am - Reply

    Ana – oh my! I have not read anything so raw and so real in quite some time. Your ‘break-down’ was actually your incredible spiritual ‘breath-through’! Unfortunately, our soul’s design requires these walk-through-fire moments to truly reach the next level of our awareness, purpose, and presence here on Earth school. Many, many moons ago I went through something both painful and profound – much like you. I absolutely no longer fit within the culture I was born into, the family that gave me life or the friends I had chosen and who had chosen me. It just all came crumbling down in a giant avalanche. So with almost zero money, no job, no partner, I relocated far away, jumped off the deep end of a dark abyss (with no compass) and swam up to the surface. The Universe rose up to greet me just as it is for you now and I built a real and honest life just as you are doing now. It’s just amazing how we’re never really alone and how we are given exactly what we need when we need it – even the most excruciating pain. Much love and congratulations to you! The dawn of your new life is shining brightly…thank you for sharing this moment in time with us. <3

    • Anastasia September 7, 2019 at 6:05 am - Reply

      Thank you Linda! I feel such a powerful energy in your words. It expands my heart. Resonating. Thanks in abundance for checking in here and sharing. Big heart full of love.

  16. barbara marshall September 7, 2019 at 5:25 pm - Reply

    My Dear Sweet Anastasia,
    ” See Me ” two small profound words that lead many of us to do or act in ways that we actually detach from humanity, it happens to many of us . Many of us have tried to quiet the screaming of not belonging , the loneliness and end the inner pain inside ourselves. For those that have never reached such depths in their lives would not understand the emotional heartbreak inside us that has us broken and defeated and screaming to “See Me ” I am broken please help me restore my faith in myself .
    I’ve been there several times in my life . Looking back I know I had help but not the kind I truly needed , I had support and I certainly had pity . You don’t just fix a person when they are broken with a hug or suggest you understand when they truly don’t have a clue . .How can they unless they are in the abyss with you .The heartbreak comes when you are asking , begging telling them what you need and they walk away. They hide from the embarrassment of you . A total disconnect !
    I am truly sorry this has happened to you , in the same breath it is part of the path you had to journey to find your true light and purpose. You are still travelling and I am thankful to walk beside you on this path together , without judgement just kinship and respect .You encourage us all with your words and sharing of your experiences. You exude love and life and we all feel that goose bump when we see your exquisite smiling face .
    “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”Henry Ford .
    Let’s take those next steps together as a support system that does not judge and truly loves to hugs trees and be One .

    Love xxx

    • Anastasia September 15, 2019 at 6:22 am - Reply

      Thank you so much, Barbara, for sharing. I feel grateful that you have also touched such depths because ultimately it is an incredible gift. When one person falls apart it does take courage for another to ‘be there’ because it is just like a mirror. It takes courage and humility to look in that mirror.
      with love

  17. adrian September 15, 2019 at 4:52 am - Reply

    ”Living in the love of the common people” … help & support comes from unexpected directions during our ‘hour of need’

  18. Teri September 15, 2019 at 9:00 am - Reply

    A bit late reading this – but WOW – nail on the head comes to mind. Thank you deeply for sharing. See you next month. Love & virtual hugs, Teri.

    • Anastasia September 15, 2019 at 11:54 am - Reply

      Thank you Teri. Looking forward to seeing you on retreat.
      Love and hugs Ana x

  19. Beverly Quinn October 7, 2019 at 9:34 pm - Reply

    Thank you so much for being you. I struggle with letting others in so far to who I am. You give me courage to tell my story which I don’t find very exciting but now believe that it might touch and encourage someone else. Peace and blessings.

    P.S. I love your recipes and I purchased one of your books…wish I could do more to help.

    • Anastasia October 31, 2019 at 11:01 am - Reply

      Big heart full of love to you Beverley!

  20. B. October 24, 2019 at 10:15 pm - Reply

    This whole website is full of things that make me so happy to read. Recently I’ve been diving into my deeper side and spirit, and I’ve had so many times of realization and healing since then. I’ve been looking for more information about finding my center and balancing my energy, and this was exactly what I needed. I will read this and come back to this so many times. Thank you for sharing this, I feel connected to so many things and this just helps me understand those things even more. Yesterday I just smiled being so grateful to know the people I know, have the good relationships I have with my family, and to be on a good path in life. There was a time where I didn’t have good family relationships or a good path in front of me, but since I’ve been more spiritual, I’ve been able to find the path I need to take and spend more time with my family. I’ve opened my heart and mind, and ever since, I’ve been in a place where I can finally feel self acceptance and joy. Thank you for writing this.

    • Anastasia October 31, 2019 at 11:02 am - Reply

      That is so beautiful to read B. Thank you for your comment and taking the time to share.
      Keep unfolding. Keep being you.
      With Love x

  21. Alexis November 18, 2019 at 8:14 am - Reply

    Reading your account has resonated and touched me so much thank you. It has encouraged and reminded me to find and use my inner strength that I thought I had lost and brought back shafts of hope.Thank you xx

  22. Kimmy January 29, 2020 at 2:39 am - Reply

    Thank you so much for this. I’ve never felt as if I belong anywhere. I grew up feeling I was switched at birth due to being nothing like my family. Because of this feeling I’ve isolated myself, alone with my own thoughts & internal pain. To live your entire life feeling different from everyone you’ve been around & like no one can relate is a difficult life to live. I found this article after days of not being able to talk, eat or sleep. Today I almost gave up. I decided to look one more time for some sign of hope, which I’ve been searching for for days, and out of everything I’ve read this article made me smile & feel something other than endless deep suffering. Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing this. It means a lot to me & others who feel similar. Love & Light ❤️

    • Anastasia January 29, 2020 at 7:46 am - Reply

      Keep going! Keep looking for the way – embrace that you are different.
      with love

  23. Charity February 7, 2020 at 8:42 pm - Reply

    This is exactly what I needed! Thank you!

    “I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.” -Mary Oliver

    • Anastasia February 8, 2020 at 9:56 am - Reply

      Happy to hear that.
      Really resonate with that Mary Oliver quote.

  24. Devi May 1, 2020 at 8:05 am - Reply

    Dear Anastasia,

    I´ve been following your recipes for a couple of years and had wondered about what made you change your name and website some time ago … I´m so happy and grateful that you are so open and share this article/ piece of the heart with us. I´ve had and have moments where I don´t know what the hell I am doing and what I am looking for. This feeling of being lost. This crazy yearning for something, that seemingly nothing can fulfill. And just recently I started to go more and more in contact with nature. So I love your percpective on belonging and being connected! Thank you thank you thank you!

    Soul to soul – beautiful

    • Anastasia June 5, 2020 at 6:15 am - Reply

      Ahhhw thanks for tuning in. Yes it’s important to keep reflecting to each other about these important subjects.

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